Drywall repair kits, toilet seat seals, toddler leashes, and 38 other products the hospital should have given you when you brought your baby home.
A magnetic visual timer that’ll help kids see how much time they have left to work on homework, clean their room, be in the bath, etc. This is here to keep your home from being filled with the shrill cries of “Are we done yet?!” every 32 seconds.
A sensory swing to help your children develop their motor and balance skills *while* having fun horsing around. The swing is designed with an extra spring, making it swing back and forth and up and down! I…want one.
A drywall repair kit that’ll save your walls from the “save” your goalie made the *one* time you let your kids play ball in the house.
A toilet safety seal — a solution for anyone who has been down in the ~dumps~ over their baby mistaking the toilet tank for a splash pad. It’s super not.
A wood finish stain marker to fill in scratches from the ice skates, cleats, and roller blades your kids never seem to take off. You didn’t even know they owned ice skates…AND YET.
A pack of corner guards — a babyproofing solution sure to make sharp surfaces safe while still letting your style stay sharp.
A squirting spoon with a squeezable silicone pouch that’ll make feeding your baby pureed meals cleaner and easier when you’re out and about.
A rubber ducky bath spout cover that’s gonna keep your kiddo from ~quacking~ their head open on the hard faucet if they’re rather squirmy during bath time.
A pack of dresser labels for making sure your kids keep their clothes organized after you’ve spent the day washing them.
A butterfly wing safety harness that’s gonna put you at ease if your kiddo always attempts to fly away the second they escape the house.
A pack of wart bandages formulated with a salicylic acid that’ll kill off warts deep at the root. Plus, these are made with self-adhesive, waterproof strips (i.e. these’ll be *much* easier to actually keep on your kid).
A suction placemat to actually keep your kid’s food in one place while they eat. These are also really useful when eating out, so you can know the table space they’re eating off of is actually clean.
A pack of toy straps that’ll prevent your mini football player from tossing their pacifiers and toys from a stroller or car seat.
A spiffy three-stage silicone cup designed to adapt as your toddler’s fine motor skills start kicking in. Once they begin to insist on drinking from a “big kid cup,” this unbreakable bud can adjust accordingly.
An anti-blister balm that’ll keep you from feeling de-feet-ed when trying to enjoy a hike with the family. Sure, they may complain about how they wish they were playing video games, but at least there won’t be a blister in site!
A pack of vomit bags with a twist and seal structure to save the day (and the road trip) when your kids start getting motion sick the minute you put the key in the ignition.
And a car trash can that’s gonna keep you (and your upholstery) out of any ~sticky~ situations that suckers, soda bottles, and juice WILL cause.
A booster seat diaper bag — a classic diaper bag that transforms into a secure seat (including chair straps) so your little one can sit up at the table and thus, off of your lap, when you’re out. Even when used as a seat, the hollow center can be filled with all the things you need throughout your day.
An alcohol-free hand sanitizer that’ll foam when you pump it out, making sanitizing their hands way more fun when all your kiddo wants to do is…get their hands on everything. The produce section never stood a chance.
A four-pack of finger pinch guards you can attach to any part of your door to keep them open at all times. No hurt fingers in your house!
A diaper wipe warmer that’ll be soothing on your baby during nighttime diaper changes, because cold wipes could wake them right up in the dead of the night…when you’re already dead tired.
A magnetic dry erase board your kiddos can use while doing schoolwork. You can also use this as a message board for family announcements or grocery lists.
Or dry shampoo for parents who would prefer their child not look like a character straight off the set of Grease. Save them from a day in the life of Danny Zuko, there’s way too much spontaneous singing involved.
A daily closet organizer you can keep in your kiddo’s room. If they’ve struggled getting themselves dressed in the past, this can seriously simplify your stressful morning routine.
A bug bite suction tool to remove bits of insect saliva and other irritants after a bug bite, to keep your kid from scratching their skin off after a mosquito finds its way into your campsite.
An attachable dirty diaper sack dispenser with 24 bags you can toss your dirty diapers in when there isn’t a convenient trash nearby.
A pack of six disposable urinals that’ll assist you while camping, on road trips, or with any other urinary emergencies that may arise away from the comfort of a bathroom stall.
A password book so you can keep track of all the user names and passwords your kids need for school assignments. This can be massively useful if your kid comes up with the weirdest user names. “ImBabyWigW” …wut.
A silicone placemat — a Montessori table setting that’ll show your kiddo how to set up utensils before dinner. Involve them in dinner prep and watch them eat more than ever before!
A “taco truck” to keep their tacos upright while they eat…which can hopefully prevent the temper tantrums from the past when their tacos were “broken.” Sigh, if they only knew how delicious a deconstructed taco really is.
A travel cooler for keeping fresh snacks inside your car. It’s pretty typical for toddlers to need food every three to four hours, so having snacks and drinks inside the car helps prevent crankiness between meals.
A food tray sure to satisfy parents of picky eaters. *Any* idea that gets picky kids to eat is a good one…even if that means playing with their food.
Or a construction zone plate that just might be so fun your kids actually eat all of their dinner, even if they usually act like you’ve placed a truckload of broccoli on their plate.
A machine washable coloring tablecloth sure to put your easily bored babe in the right ~frame~ of mind when you expect everyone in the family to sit together at the dinner table.
A diaper cream applicator for keeping your fingers from getting greasy when you have some rather ~crappy~ business to attend to.
A pack of four self-closing outlets to make your baby-proofed place look way less baby-proofed, even though they’re extra safe!
An adjustable baby carriage that’s gonna make strolling around with a colicky newborn, fidgety baby, or active toddler a walk in the park. Um, sort of.
And finally, a teaching alarm clock to help your children know when they’re allowed to leave their room, giving you slightly more shut-eye in the a.m. Update the settings to your family’s schedule and this lil’ helper will light up when the kids are allowed to get up and out of bed.
Who knew raising a child would be so much fun?